So this is really gonnna happen, huh?

So I previously warned you about some really frightening bell bottom action on ShopBop.  Now it looks like 7 For All Mankind is really running with it. Great.

See for yourself.

Black Swan

So I know we are all SO excited about the release of Black Swan starring Miss Natalie Portman.  But I am thinking this dress is a little too literal:

I first noticed this dress a while ago and at the time thought ok this is either for halloween or for Miss Emma Watson, because I can't imagine anyone else pulling it off.  Then I saw it again and had a horrible image of this dress falling into the wrong hands.  Like Ke$ha.  The poor dear is already a trainwreck and a half (though I think that is the look she is going for).  I keep having images of her trying to squeeze into this dress with a pair of ripped tights and doc martens looking like she had too much cough syrup and then took a bumpy ride on a time machine back to the mid 90's. 

Ugh.  Now I have a headache. 

BCBG Ballerina Dress

What's Scarier

What is scarier about these pants?  That they exist? or That they are only available in a size 12?

: /

Yikes!!!

Something Is Not Right.

Dear Revolve Clothing: There are SO many things wrong with this picture. 

First of all, if this is not a photoshopped picture, please give this girl a cookie. or a whole thanksgiving dinner.  If this is photoshopped, it's still disturbing.  Not a single girl on this planet would look hot with a head that is wider than her hips.  It just looks weird. 

Second, this pose is awkward and makes it look like she has weird flippers for hands.  A sad tired barbie doll with flippers for hands. or turkey wings.

Third, I am feeling pretty meh about this dress.  Maybe it's just poor construction, but I just don't think the top and bottom go well together.  It reminds me of the fashion plates I had when I was little.  I used to love to pair together the top of the wedding dress with the 80's pegged jean bottoms just to see how it looked. Naturally, it looked like crap.  Kinda like this dress.

See it for yourself.

Nice Wig, T-Swift?

For the record, I love me some bangs. And I love me some T-Swift.  But for some reason, I just don't love bangs on T-Swift. 

I suspect that it's because whenever she rocks the super straight hair with bangs, it always looks like she is wearing a wig to me.  It's just a little off.  Like when Tyra tries to slap some cheeseball extensions on the white girls on ANTM.  Or bleach their eyebrows.  I am all for wigs of the theatrical variety, but I don't love wigs that are trying to look like regular everyday hair. It doesn't work on Kim from Real Housewives of the ATL and it definitely doesn' work on T-Swift.

Now I know it's super fun to try out new looks.  And maybe she is thinking "this will totally look like it's plausibly my real hear from all the way up here on stage."  But, my dear Miss T-Swift, you aren't fooling anyone. 

: /

Nothing Says "I Love You, Mom" like Tits and Ass

So I was watching my lady shows in real time last night (grey's anatomy and private practice, don't judge) thereby forcing myself to watch all the lady-focused commercials that the producers thought would appeal to me based on my questionable taste in tv shows. And since in the year 2010 Christmastime apparently starts well before Thanksgiving, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman came on to hawk her line of Crap Mall Jewelry You Can Buy For Your Mom.



Exhibit A



From this collection, I give you Exhibit A.  This necklace reminds me of a buxom gal sitting (in the nude, of course) on the edge of a bathtub and looking coyly over her shoulder.  For some reason, every time I see this necklace, I just see a big round ass.  I can't help it. 

Now, I don't know about you, but the last thing I want hanging around the neck of the sweet gal that brought me into this world is something that makes me think of naked ladies. 



Exhibit B



Let's take a look at Exhibit B. 

Hey, Remember the '90s?

So, this LeSportsac bag totally reminds me of the mini backpack I bought one time during a class field trip to Olvera Street. which of course reminds me of street tacos and delicious churros. and boy do I love churros. 

While I do love a bold print on a bag, I just cant deal with this in backpack form.  Perhaps if it was a huge slouchy hold everything sack I wouldn't hate it so much, but its not. sigh. now I want a churro.

Olvera Street Backpack