Vegan Leather is the New Pleather

The word "pleather" is apparently too F21 for the gals over at Shopbop, so now they are calling it "vegan" leather.  Which sounds so nice and animal friendly.  I am only half making fun of them because I really love this  Free People dress.... despite the fact that they are calling it "vegan."  Also, I would rather pay a pleather price for a dress like this that you can't really wear every day.  This little bad boy is on sale for $96.60, so get it while it's hot.

Buy it Quick!

Trends I Cannot Get Behind: Maxi Skirts

Ugh.  Come on people.  Maxi skirts like this Ella Moss monstrosity at ShopBop might be comfortable, but they are not figure flattering on any soul who inhabits this planet.  I am pretty sure they are less flattering than sweat pants.  So unless you are some sort of religious fundamentalist or having a Reality Bites themed party, let's just go ahead and let this one pass quietly in the night.

Really?

Dear God ShopBop; Lady Business Part II

Ok, so I love a bow as much as any other gal.  Maybe more.  And maybe (definitely) I am a pervo, but my dear ShopBop, this has got to stop:

 

My first problem is that this "bow" looks like lady parts.  My second problem with these pantos cortos is that I can't imagine that a fabric F.U.P.A. is flattering on any gal, no matter how skinny minnie she may be. My third  and final problem with these shorts is that, if I can manage to put the pervo side of my brain to rest for a little while, this uh... adornment just looks more like fancy curtains than a bow.  Like a little valance for your crotch.  Now, in the year 2011, valances aren't even in style in houses let alone crotches (unless you live in a fabulous palace, then you should totally go for it).

Oh one more final final complaint about these shorts: they are $246.00 U.S. Dollars.  Seriously.  I am officially of the opinion that short pants should never cost more then $240.  There has to be a line somewhere.

Sometimes I wonder if the gals over at ShopBop are laughing as much as I  am at some of the ridiculous shit they sell.  Where do they expect a gal to where these shorts?  A night on the town? The office?  The beach?  All of those seem like pretty bad choices to me.

Lady Business

So I was just thinking.  What I really need for the fall is a top that is cute and comfy and pink...

... and has a giant lady part on the back.

Oh, cool.  I found just the thing. I actually like the drapeyness at the back of the neck and the button detail.  It's too bad they don't offer this top without a coochie tail.


really, shopbop?

These Seem Practical...

Do you have an extra $195 burning a hole in your pocket?  Maybe you need these:

Call me a old fashioned, but I think $195 is a little spendy for a pair of undies regardless of how awesome, comfy, silhouette smoothing they may be.  I guess I could see how these could be interesting as a novelty.  But zoinks, $195 is a pretty big commitment for a novelty item.

Buy it!

But wait, there's more...

All I Want For Christmas...

...Is a pair of $900 leather sweatpants.  The tight-at-the-ankle type.  Maybe 2011 is Hammertime?



See it for yourself...

Oh ShopBop

My favorite part about this little treasure from ShopBop is that it has the word "versatile" in the name.  I am not sure how versatile a skirt can be when it is $1500 and adds about 25 lbs to even the skinniest model. 

Ellery Versatile Ruffled Shade Skirt

What's Scarier

What is scarier about these pants?  That they exist? or That they are only available in a size 12?

: /

Yikes!!!

In Orbit

This Tom Binns ring is gorgeous! Check it!

Sissy Loves Sequins

According to Wikipedia, sequins have been around since as early as 2500 years before Christ.  Such longevity is clear evidence of the genius of sequins.  Sequins are extremely useful, whether they are jazzing up a 7 year old's tap costume or helping a 20-something gal in NYC (or a showgirl!) call extra attention to herself at a bar or club.  The problem is that you have to exercise caution with where on your body you display sequins so you don't accidentally look like the gussied up elephant at the circus. 

Now, at first I was kinda skeptical when I started seeing sequined shorts around stores lately.  There are so many ways this can go wrong. The chaffing!  But the more I see them the more I kinda love them.  I do wish this trend would have come around a little closer to my early twenties, because I don't think that they are appropriate on anyone over the age of 26 (well, they are probably acceptable for celebrities and cast members from the movie Burlesque).

Thoughts?

Sequin Splash Shorts from Shopbop

One time, in hell's kitchen...

So one time, I was at a bar in Hell's Kitchen (lord knows why), when my friend and I found a discarded bag full of oversize LEATHER hair bows much like this lovely little number:

So we each put one on and then had an impromptu photo shoot because we were so pleased with ourselves.  Luckily, neither of us contracted head lice or anything else unsavory from our little hair-venture.  We left the rest of the bows where we found them, and now, apparently, they have made their way over to shop bop.  Now you too can own one of these lovely little numbers for the reasonable price of $88. 

These bows really pull together any holiday party outfit... provided the theme of said holiday party is Christmastime on the Mormon Fundamentalist Compound or To Catch a Predator, Christmas Edition (which may or may not be the same thing).  Either way, you'll be a pretty addition to next year's Joy Book for sure.

Bow Time