Moves Like ... Who?

This just in. 75% of all youths* under the age of 22 do not know who Mick Jagger is.  Sir Michael Phillip Jagger children! What is this world coming to.

"Wait, What?!"

*This is, of course, based on a personal survey of 4 people I happen to know who are under the age of 22.  Ironically, every one of these youths surveyed appeared to know every lyric to the song Moves Like Jagger.  For the record I think this song is absolutely terrible and I hate myself for also knowing all of the lyrics to this song as well.  But I secretly love it because it gives me the opportunity to display my own personal moves like Jagger, which, as it were, look a little more like  the moves GOB does when calling Michael Bluth a chicken (see below).

Forever Fridays: Oh Hell No.

"So I was walking down Sunset and I was like Oh My God it's so breezy today it's really weird cause I thought it was going to be warm out and everything and OH MY GOD I just saw my reflection in a store front what the fuck am I wearing." 

(that is what I imagine this poor broad is thinking)

WTF

Forever Fridays: Old Timey School Marm Edition

Oh Lawd.  Forever 21 apparently found a wormhole directly into the closet of my fourth grade teacher Mrs. Overton circa 1990.  Great. Now I am having the sudden urge to demonstrate my prowess at timed multiplication tables.

Does this float your boat?

Trends I Cannot Get Behind: Maxi Skirts

Ugh.  Come on people.  Maxi skirts like this Ella Moss monstrosity at ShopBop might be comfortable, but they are not figure flattering on any soul who inhabits this planet.  I am pretty sure they are less flattering than sweat pants.  So unless you are some sort of religious fundamentalist or having a Reality Bites themed party, let's just go ahead and let this one pass quietly in the night.

Really?

There is no K in Collection

God save us all.  The Kardashians have launched their "Kollection" at Sears.  The good news is I don't go into Sears very often, except when pricing electronics or appliances (yeah, yeah, I admitted I occasionally venture into Sears - gotta love the 'burbs).  Anyhow, so before I looked at said Kollection, I was thinking to myself "Self, maybe if the Kardashians didn't insist on replacing all of the C's in the world with K's I wouldn't dislike them so much."  

Horrid Kjumper

Horrid Kpants

Then I looked at the Kollection.  And I remembered why I dislike them.  Overpriced Trash.  How fitting.  If you have been to this site before, you know that I have no problem with discount retailers like  H&M and Forever 21 (ok, some problems).  I think there is a very real need in the marketplace for what  I call Disposable Closables.  Fashion for the People.  The slutty drunk people mostly, but still people.

But the difference between F21 and H&M and the Kardashian Kollection is... well there are two main differences that strike me.  1.  At least I can find some acceptable items at F21 and H&M.  2. The price points!  I want to know what Sears shopper is prepared to drop 99 bones on a tacky jumper or a tacky pair of sequined trashbag pants.  I have spent way more than $99 on a pair of pants or an outfit before, but gosh, I at least felt like I was getting something for my money.  Perhaps they were inspried by the words of the fabulous Ms. Dolly Parton, "It costs a lot of money to look this cheap."

On the bright side, if they keep throwing K's in front of everything, it makes it easier to discern what shit to stay away from.

Royal Princess.

So I probably find this hilarious in part because I was not a fan of La Duchess Kate's wedding dress.  But I just find it that much more hilarious since the style is called "Royal Princess" so there is no confusion.  I am just imagining the look on my face if I was a guest at a wedding and the bride busted out in this cheeseball copy.

I am not sure if it's meant to be an inexpensive ($1,110) wedding dress or an expensive halloween costume. 

interested??

Dear God ShopBop; Lady Business Part II

Ok, so I love a bow as much as any other gal.  Maybe more.  And maybe (definitely) I am a pervo, but my dear ShopBop, this has got to stop:

 

My first problem is that this "bow" looks like lady parts.  My second problem with these pantos cortos is that I can't imagine that a fabric F.U.P.A. is flattering on any gal, no matter how skinny minnie she may be. My third  and final problem with these shorts is that, if I can manage to put the pervo side of my brain to rest for a little while, this uh... adornment just looks more like fancy curtains than a bow.  Like a little valance for your crotch.  Now, in the year 2011, valances aren't even in style in houses let alone crotches (unless you live in a fabulous palace, then you should totally go for it).

Oh one more final final complaint about these shorts: they are $246.00 U.S. Dollars.  Seriously.  I am officially of the opinion that short pants should never cost more then $240.  There has to be a line somewhere.

Sometimes I wonder if the gals over at ShopBop are laughing as much as I  am at some of the ridiculous shit they sell.  Where do they expect a gal to where these shorts?  A night on the town? The office?  The beach?  All of those seem like pretty bad choices to me.

Forever Friday: Party Like It's 1994 Edition (Part II)

Really F21?  I am not going to lie, I do love the Aztec print, but come on.  Is this really happening?


Buy it?Buy it???

These Seem Practical...

Do you have an extra $195 burning a hole in your pocket?  Maybe you need these:

Call me a old fashioned, but I think $195 is a little spendy for a pair of undies regardless of how awesome, comfy, silhouette smoothing they may be.  I guess I could see how these could be interesting as a novelty.  But zoinks, $195 is a pretty big commitment for a novelty item.

Buy it!

But wait, there's more...

All I Want For Christmas...

...Is a pair of $900 leather sweatpants.  The tight-at-the-ankle type.  Maybe 2011 is Hammertime?



See it for yourself...

What's Scarier

What is scarier about these pants?  That they exist? or That they are only available in a size 12?

: /

Yikes!!!