Moves Like ... Who?

This just in. 75% of all youths* under the age of 22 do not know who Mick Jagger is.  Sir Michael Phillip Jagger children! What is this world coming to.

"Wait, What?!"

*This is, of course, based on a personal survey of 4 people I happen to know who are under the age of 22.  Ironically, every one of these youths surveyed appeared to know every lyric to the song Moves Like Jagger.  For the record I think this song is absolutely terrible and I hate myself for also knowing all of the lyrics to this song as well.  But I secretly love it because it gives me the opportunity to display my own personal moves like Jagger, which, as it were, look a little more like  the moves GOB does when calling Michael Bluth a chicken (see below).

These Seem Practical...

Do you have an extra $195 burning a hole in your pocket?  Maybe you need these:

Call me a old fashioned, but I think $195 is a little spendy for a pair of undies regardless of how awesome, comfy, silhouette smoothing they may be.  I guess I could see how these could be interesting as a novelty.  But zoinks, $195 is a pretty big commitment for a novelty item.

Buy it!

But wait, there's more...

... and just because it's Friday

I am pretty sure Rebecca Black is one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse... (I don't even have an outfit to add to this one. sorry.)

Soundtrack for the Rapture. Britney Edition.

As is to be expected, Britney is wearing something whorish to the Apocalypse:

Get this look (just add undies and torn pantyhose and you should be all set):

Cheapo Cropped Leather Jacket from Macys

It's the end of the world as we know it. DIY edition.

And my soundtrack for the Rapture continues.

To get this kid's look is a 3 step process.*

Step 1.  Go to American Apparel.

Step 2.  Have just enough PBR in a can so you cutting skills are really on point.

Step 3.  Surgically remove sleeves with blunt craft scissors.

*Skateboard and messy room optional.

Forever Friday... The Beginning of the End Edition

The end is nigh (according to some billboards in major U.S. cities).  So what are you going to wear to the Rapture?

 

Way back in 1980 something or the other, Blondie had a pretty kickin outfit picked out for the Rapture.  

"Where am I ever going to find some sweet formal shorts and bedazzled tube top in the year 2011" you ask.  Probably in your own closet, but in case you aren't prepared, Forever 21 has you covered with this little jumper.  For only $17.80, so you won't feel so bad leaving this outfit behind when you get called up.  The only problem is you have to get completely naked to go to the bathroom.

Wear this to the Rapture

So this is really gonnna happen, huh?

So I previously warned you about some really frightening bell bottom action on ShopBop.  Now it looks like 7 For All Mankind is really running with it. Great.

See for yourself.

All I Want For Christmas...

...Is a pair of $900 leather sweatpants.  The tight-at-the-ankle type.  Maybe 2011 is Hammertime?



See it for yourself...

What's Scarier

What is scarier about these pants?  That they exist? or That they are only available in a size 12?

: /

Yikes!!!

Something Is Not Right.

Dear Revolve Clothing: There are SO many things wrong with this picture. 

First of all, if this is not a photoshopped picture, please give this girl a cookie. or a whole thanksgiving dinner.  If this is photoshopped, it's still disturbing.  Not a single girl on this planet would look hot with a head that is wider than her hips.  It just looks weird. 

Second, this pose is awkward and makes it look like she has weird flippers for hands.  A sad tired barbie doll with flippers for hands. or turkey wings.

Third, I am feeling pretty meh about this dress.  Maybe it's just poor construction, but I just don't think the top and bottom go well together.  It reminds me of the fashion plates I had when I was little.  I used to love to pair together the top of the wedding dress with the 80's pegged jean bottoms just to see how it looked. Naturally, it looked like crap.  Kinda like this dress.

See it for yourself.

Pop Music as Spoken Word Poetry: the Dougie





In this next installment of "Pop Music as Spoken Word Poetry" I present to you "Teach Me How to Dougie" by California Swag District.  So please put on your William Shatner reading glasses and enjoy (according to the youngs, there is also an accompanying dance, so if you know it, feel free to dance along).




Pop Music as Spoken Word Poetry

So one of the highlights of being back in So Cal after a 7 year stint in NYC is having a car, and thus a reason to listen to new music on the radio.  Which brings me to this gem: Peacock by Katy Perry.  This song is so ridiculous, I almost can't believe it exists.  I also think its much funnier if you imagine it being read as spoken word poetry.  So sit back, relax and read this in your head (or out loud, if you'd like) in the voice of William Shatner:



 

"Who, me?"



 I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock

Your peacock, cock

Your peacock, cock, cock

Your peacock

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock

Your peacock, cock

Your peacock, cock, cock

Your peacock

"No thanks, I'm not really in the mood"





Word on the street,
you got somethin' to show me, ee

Magical, colorful, Mr. Mystery, ee

I'm intrigued, for a peek, Heard it's fascinating





"C'est What?!?!"

Words are mislead

Such a tease

Wanna see the show

In 3D, a movie

Heard it's beautiful

Be the judge

And my girls gonna take a bow



I want the jaw droppin, eye popin, head turnin, body shockin

(Uh, uh, oh, Uh, uh, uh, oh)

I want my heart throbbin, ground shakin, show stoppin, amazin

(Uh, uh, oh, Uh, uh, uh, oh)

"What's wrong with chicken?"



Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?

Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a beeotch

I'ma peace out if you don't give me the pay off



Come on baby let me see

What you're hiding underneath

Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?



What you're waiting for, it's time for you to show it off

Don't be a shy kinda guy I'll bet it's beautiful

Come on baby let me see

Whatchu hidin' underneath

"Here I am ladies"



I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock

Your peacock, cock

Your peacock, cock, cock

Your peacock

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock